Comrade Forte

7,682 editsJoined 29 September 2020
(Redirected from Comrade:Camarada.Forte)
I live in the UTC-3 area, for an idea of the period I'm online. Do notice that I have insomnia and might be awake 3am in my time period a day or another

ProleWiki founder and administrator, student of Marxism-Leninism since 2019 and organized in the Brazilian Communist Party until 2021.

Biography

I was born in Brazil, in the city of Fortaleza, Ceará in 28 April, 1997. I am the youngest of two siblings, raised by an abusive father and a (sometimes) controlling mother (though nowadays I have a healthy relationship with them). I come from a labor aristocratic background, as a son of two highly compensated doctors. I was an extremely hyperactive child, constantly annoying others and causing trouble, frequently hurting myself and others. I was also raised by a loving grandmother and a patient uncle, who were a relief in my early years. Since my early childhood, I spent a large part of my time in computers, playing video-games.

I studied mostly in two schools, first in a commercial school which basically trained students to pass on the Brazilian equivalent to the SATs. They had no interest in human development, and was unable to respond to student psychological demands. The second school was a Catholic one which had a more "humane" approach and had the same teachers teaching there for years. My history teachers usually had a left-wing, as history teachers usually do (I guess studying and learning from history tend to makes you left-wing for some reason, wonder why), but I was mostly apolitical, with slight left-wing, anarchist tendencies.

During my early, mid teens (13-16) and until my late teenage years (18–22) I was an abusive misogynist, having a series of abusive relationships with different women. I was possessive, controlling and manipulative and extremely emotionally immature. I felt insecure, I constantly compared myself to other men, always felt insufficient in my relationships, and was an emotional wreck. At the same time, I was a good friend, and I could also be a caring, loving and understanding boyfriend. Though I was sometimes arrogant, I always felt the need to connect with others. I believe today there is a correlation between my upbringing with my abusive father and my jealous and abusive behavior. Comparing oneself to other men and feeling jealous is simply the result of someone conditioned by constant male competition and belittling.

In my late teens, I attempted a graduation in Music in the Federal University of Ceará, a public university. I spent 4 years studying Music until I began to have a burnout process, no longer able to maintain university schedule, with too much responsibilities and collapsing with pressure until I completely abandoned college. In that year, we were having the 2018 elections which would elect the fascist Jair Bolsonaro. The relationship with my parents was unbearable, as they were ardent supporters of Bolsonaro, and I couldn't have a single conversation with them at the time. They were completely fanatics and constantly screaming in arguments, and I screamed back, and it was extremely unhealthy to be in that household.

In that year, I took my stuff and went to live with a few friends, because I was completely exhausted and needed a time-off from every thing. I spent a few months there, until in early 2019, an ex-girlfriend made a post on Facebook about me, exposing my abuses and completely killing my reputation, as the post reached more than a thousand shares. I was recognized by people on the streets, even. The people I lived with took care of me at that time, and was a solace for that moment. But my mental health, already in decline, finally resulted in my mental breakdown. I was eventually institutionalized in a psychiatric hospital for close to a month, until I finally stayed in my parents house.

My experience in the psychiatric hospital was enough to make me severely dissociate myself from my past identity and personality, having retained only a few characteristics of who I was previously. I felt in a blank state and spent most of my days just looking at nowhere and smoking tobacco, sometimes using the computer. I felt general anxiety, and my existence felt extremely uncomfortable. During this period, I went to therapy with different therapists, who I felt didn't help me much, but I went anyways. I briefly studied and practiced Buddhism which did help me. It gave me an ethical starting point for my life, and also meditation is the training of patience, discipline and conditioning your attention span.

Around this time, I began studying other subjects. I came across Reddit, always heard of it, but never really visited. I frequently engaged with the zen community there. Not sure how it happened, possibly out of curiosity, I decided to learn more about communism and came across a video of Richard Wolff explaining Marxism. His narrative in his interview with Abby Martin was extremely coherent and made much sense. I began visiting online communities related to Marxism, and saw a recommendation of the Georges Politzer book "Elementary principles of philosophy," which completely changed my worldview. I could split my life in two periods, before I read this book and after. I felt like I finally understood the root cause of the contradictions of my life and now I had a reason for my existence, to struggle towards building a socialist society in whatever condition I was presented.

I began studying Marxist theory, involving myself in polemics with liberals and other communists, constantly refining my knowledge. I never read in a linear fashion, I read excerpts of Marx in a day, Stalin, Lenin, Mao, etc. I used search engines to find documents about certain keywords from these authors and was able to have a targeted reading of the Marxist theory, since I had troubles reading a work linearly (and still do to a certain extent, though I have improved). I also was influenced by Jones Manoel, a militant of the Brazilian Communist Party, which also influenced my decision to organize in that party. He is a competent propagandist and agitator and is what I would consider Brazil's most important organic intellectual in the modern era.

In September 2020, I used a part of my savings to buy a domain and server for ProleWiki. I began discussions about it on Lemmygrad and eventually spearheaded the project, heavily inspired by Leftypedia's efforts. Leftypedia was a honorable project, but I think it would be much more useful to the working class if we had an encyclopedia directly aligned with Marxism-Leninism. Thus was born ProleWiki, the rest is history.

Priorities

(not in order)

Sources

  1. Domenico Losurdo (2017). Has China turned to capitalism? — Reflections on the transition from capitalism to socialism. International Critical Thought. doi: 10.1080/21598282.2017.1287585 [HUB]

Other work